Day 4....

It day 4 and I still see you in my dreams.
I'm still crying.
I miss you so deeply.
It's such a void not having anyone to talk to 23hrs a day.
I don't know if I can get through this.

Office romance break up

I ended things two days ago, right when it was feeling like the end to all the troubles.
I feel so terrible, I a so heartbroken, I think I might be getting depressed, it burns in my heart, I am struggling to communicate with the outside world without snapping, I sneak in a tear or two here and there but all in all I am actually relieved, no more sneaking, no more fights, no more uncertainty, no more resentment about loosing it (well its still there), no more second guessing everything..... but enough about me....
I wonder how he feels, for the first time since I met him I saw him cry, he invested so much in me, I did not deserve him, he must be really disappointed in me, he believed so much in us, I fed off that belief for a while, I strung him along.
if you ever read this Mr E. know that I did love you, at a point I did believe in us too. I saw myself having your kids at a point too, I saw myself learning your language at some point too.
But if by now we r still facing my uncertainty then its better I let you go, I am ready to regret it.

so for day 2...... IT BURNS!!!!

Office Romance Update 2

Hey!!!

So i have even more update on this office romance thing, its slowly beginning to sound offensive to call it just that.... an office romance, it has become a very beautiful beginning to an endless love together forever (^_^) stoked!!!

But.... there's a but, i've always wondered why grooms have been said to have cold feet, why go all the way knowing you love this person but because of a stupid black.... no white (white is associated with cold right?) nah black monster called cold feet you start to doubt the love that binds you and future wifey together. Orrr it could just be that the pretense couldn't be put up with any longer. I digress.

I am only writing this because i feel great about us but there's a but. i dont have that total surrender feeling, is it terrible to say that? i dont want to let go, but could we really be more?
wth is wrong with me?

HELP!!!