Regrets, Resentments and Repairs

Hi Guys(Me), lol.
So i am in a regret phase of my life now.
i ended things with Mr E, and moved on already to Mr F.
I regret leaving Mr E, even though i told myself over and over again how i was ready for the regrets, this feeling is a depressive, suicidal borderline mental illness kind of regret.
I have been fasting and praying to God for 6 months now hoping to get over him and fully face and embrace my new life and to be truly happy
.
Suffice to say its not working, and slowly I'm beginning to resent myself, my family, my fiance, my friends and sometimes i think its better to die and JUST REST!!! HAH!!!
but God forbid, one thing I learned from Mr E is to always persevere in the face of troubles.
I dont see any light at the end of the tunnel..... yet
Its not over till it's over
I knew the consequences of leaving Mr E, and i'm facing them. i have lost Mr E, i wanna lose Mr F.
I want to be alone and know me and fall in love with me all over again.
yes i want to marry
yes i want children
but what kind of love do i give my children when i cant love myself
what kind of love do i give my husband when i cant love myself
God help me towards my journey to self recovery and repair.
I have always prayed that God goes before me
in this new journey I pray oh lord that you go before me and ease this path that i must take.
reading from Ms Yemisi Wada has helped me a lot too
the woman is real
God give me a sign that you're listening.

going back to the drawing board, ciao!